Written by Mabuchi Nyirenda
If I walked out of your life now
would you run after me?
Would you kiss me like it’s the first time?
Would you hold me forever until the stars disappear,
And the moon bleeds out into the oceans?
Would you run back to him?
The one who tore your heart up and fed you to the dogs.
With his icy dark eyes
And mouth full of white lies.
If I was to stay here in this moment with you would you throw it all away for us?
Would you fall into the void of nothingness
to spend time with me until we wither to dust in the darkness?
Would you leave me alone in this emptiness?
What if we were real?
Will we stay in this moment forever?
Will you still love me?
Will you miss me like the stars miss the moon when the morning sky breaks?
Or will we become strangers?
Only connected by our memories?
What if I kissed you?
Will we survive one night?
Will you throw it all away?
Run away with me to the end of the world,
Just so we could be alone?
What if I was to run to you?
Will you accept me with all my pain?
Will you still love me?
Or will you shut your heart from me?
Or Will you break me from the inside with your words of killing intent?
She wakes up everyday
Goes to the mirror
Looks at herself with sad pity eyes
And asks Am I beautiful?
But no answer is given.
She gets ready for the day,
She puts on an invincible mask
To hide her face from the world
For she doesn’t fit in with the meaning
Of beauty the world has.
Throwing herself at every man
She finds, hoping they can unmask her
But they just use – play – ignore her
She falls deeper into depression
She turns to drugs to find happiness
She numbs and overloads her body
Feels a sense of pleasure with happiness.
Days – weeks – months go by
She suffers and drowns in her own misery
Losing the fight to live on, she
Ends it all and thinks maybe in the
After life I will be blessed with beauty
And be able to fit in with the world.
I sit here with a smile hiding the pain behind,
nobody can see or hear my screams for help,
I’m losing my grip, slowly becoming empty.
drifting into the nothingness,
I feel a sense of happiness,
She could have stayed,
He could have loved her,
She could have thrown it all away for him,
They could have lived,
They could have made it,
They could have loved each other
But that’s just it,
They never happened,
She never stayed,
He never loved her,
They never made it,
They never lived.
She stays up at night because
She is afraid of falling asleep for
She doesn’t want to become the
Play-toy of her demons but she can’t fight it anymore each night
She becomes a step closer to meeting her maker. She cries out
For help but her cries fall on deaf ears
For the heroes have all been swallowed up by the fires and now she is all alone fighting her demons, she lives in agony her eyes spill out blood from all the crying,
Her soul leaves her looking for another.
Her mind breaks and madness takes control, she becomes a mindless corpse living in torment
Just waiting until her time ends and she becomes dust and this pain is no more.
I am nothing without her
I wander into the void
Looking for her but
I find nothing but the dark
This places traps me inside
In my own past
Flooding my head with
Pictures of her
I am driven to madness
My body is motionless
I become a statue
Stuck in the darkness
Until I became nothing
But an empty shell